High Risk Love by Shannon Mayer

Author:Shannon Mayer [Mayer, Shannon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

10

Jet

I slipped my arms around her, not saying a word, feeling the shift between us. One arm went around her shoulders and across her collarbone, the other around her waist, where I could feel the hitch of her breathing. Her fingers trailed along my skin, pressure as light and unreal as a dream on the edge of waking.

Now the barrier she’d held onto as if her life depended on it fell, the fear dissipating on the ocean current. And maybe in a way the barrier had kept her safe. How long had she clung to her fears, how long had she known nothing but pain when it came to being close to someone?

And your fears, the ones you let rule you? You think those are any better?

I closed my eyes and put my chin on her shoulder, breathing her in, knowing I was a shit for using her. Because that’s what I was doing. With her, I was whole, complete, the guilt and anger from my past gone in the moments she touched me, smiled my way, when her laugh filled my ears. With her, I was for the first time in my life the person I wanted to be. It wouldn’t last though, this sort of stuff never did. Something would happen; I would fuck it up. She would turn out to be just like all the other women. Something would go wrong. But for now . . . .

We talked in hushed whispers as we held each other on that board, talking about everything and nothing. She spoke of Ryan, all the stories she hadn’t spoken of since his death, of her friend Lily and how close they were. She told me about how, as much as she loved photography, it was the piano that had always been her dream, her singing.

“You play?”

She nodded, the angle of her face showing me just the curve of her smile. “Yes, it feels like I fit when I play. I don’t know if that makes sense.” She laughed softly.

“It does. When I’m working a stunt, the world narrows down to just me and the steps. Like a dance.” I snapped my teeth shut, feeling stupid. Those words had slipped out of me and I hadn’t caught them in time.

“Yes, that’s it exactly. Like a dance. The music, when I played, wove around me and everything seemed good.”

“You say that like you don’t play anymore,” I said, turning her face to mine, so I could see her eyes.

“I don’t.” She whispered her secret to me. “I hear my family beside me, singing, playing. It’s too much. It hurts too much.”

Her lips trembled and I kissed her lightly, not demanding, not taking; but giving her everything I had. She lifted a hand, touched my face softly.

“Thank you.”

We went silent for a while after that, then out of the blue I told her about my mother, how Jasmin reminded me of her, the quiet strength, the softness with a core of steel. Once I started, I didn’t want to stop.

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